Here’s a gross one - when Sharon and I lived in our first apartment together, we started to notice a meat delivery vehicle parked outside the nicely fenced-in dumpster area at the center of our court. It appeared at all times of the day, both on weekends and weekdays. A beefy gentleman (understand that term is ironic) would get out of the vehicle, walk into the area, and return a few minutes later.
We assumed he was dumping something - this was a dumpster area, after all. Some excess meat-packing supplies, perhaps? We didn’t know and we didn’t think much of it, until two incidents took place:
Incident #1: I was taking out the trash one day, and noticed the truck in its typical resting spot. Not having any reason to alter my route, I walked into the area and saw the driver taking a pee between the trash and recycling dumpsters. He turned, saw me, and turned back to continue his business. I actually carried the trash back into our apartment in order to end our encounter. Seconds later he emerged, and unless I missed him quickly pocketing a bottle of hand sanitizer, he went back into his meat delivery vehicle without washing his hands, and drove off. Disgusting, yes - I can understand it if he didn’t have any built-in restrooms on his route, but at least find a public bathroom so people don’t have to walk through your urine puddles so they can dispose of their bottles and cans! And yet, that’s not the end of the story...
That’s how he discovered the convenient pee spot - he was our neighbor! And apparently he had no problem with driving to within yards of his front door, but was lazy enough (or preferred) to take his whizzes where the sun does shine instead of going three seconds further into his unit.
Incident #2: A week or so after “meeting” this guy, I saw his truck parked in front of the dumpsters yet - this time, though, I was looking from inside the safety of our apartment. I waited for him to emerge, toying with the idea of reporting him to his employer (if only he didn’t know where I lived...) when I saw him exit not from the dumpsters, but from an adjacent apartment’s door. That’s how he discovered the convenient pee spot - he was our neighbor! And apparently he had no problem with driving to within yards of his front door, but was lazy enough (or preferred) to take his whizzes where the sun does shine instead of going three seconds further into his unit.
We saw him many more times, both on- and off-duty, for the remainder of our time living in that complex. He eyed me with a look of, "You know my secret”, and in turn I thought, “You’re a very dirty man, and even if I wasn’t a vegetarian, I would still never order meat from you or your gross company.”
It was tough to cram that lengthy thought into the fleeting moments we had as we passed each other, but I did it... nearly every time.
